Ntzu’s Gold Coast Bulletin

Ntzu and his Dzata Band

How to make matches in GH..

9th August 2013

If i be president i go think about job creation,because before then Ghana get factories both government and private ones..
President for create more jobs and import less, so me and my work ministers and foreign affairs ministers go sit down and plan how to stop buying Tin Tomatoes from Italy, by increasing tomatoe farming all year round and also talk on how to preserve tomatoes in Ghana. Sake of me and my boys be area boys, we know say plenty tomatoes dey spoil for market and farming communities..so either say we go read books on food preservation and teach the people or we go ask the Italian ambassador say make he help we make Tin tomatoes in our country..
If they refuse e no go “bu our aba mu”. we go do industrial espionage like how babylon dey do..Like how we get plenty Ghanaians working in italy, the Ghana embassy for rome go recuit some Ghanaians (spies) to go work in tin tomatoe factories then..
Them go copy everything and when the president give money, the spies go direct the ambassador on what machines to buy to come open tin tomatoes factory for here SIMPLE!!
Ah! I remember say Rawlings e wife,konadu self get some factory for Nsawam way dey do can things (A Cannery),so we go boost up that factory.
I propose say we for build another at ada junction side there and one for Agbakofe too..(i used to know a girl there)..
i hear say mamprusi king too say land dey plenty and his people are ready for work.but since i come office the thing wey dey make me sad be if i dey Ghetto or dey house way i see tordina de use matches..Ah! then something wan do me..so matches too we dey import am? But ber na Nkrumah leave us matches factory for kede…oh one of my ministers say the time Afrifa or Busia come they take the factory make school…Ah! like by this time e be we go dey sell to Tog o and Nigeria thems..

I come hear say na another factory dey for Tv Afica en side for Fan Milk there..Allah!!!! WE GO MAKE MATCHES FOR GHANA AGAIN..Tomorrow i go call my ministers for trade and industries, we go write letter to the commercial attache and ambassador for Malaysia embassy, Switzerland today make matches so 2 or 3 letters. ber they say they be our developing parters, we go text them see which be our friend…the letter go go


I hope you dey enjoy your mission in Ghana.we are glad to have you in ghana as a developing partner and I like the fact say trade dey increase between our two countries although we dey buy more from you than you dey buy our things it no dey matter…You know say every country want to create jobs for their people and we congratulate you on your economical achievement..We can learn a lot from you as 50 years ago you had nothing ,way now you develop like former Gold coast into Britin. We congratulate you. Now  we too want start make matches from here so make you help us. We want to grow the sticks for here,cut am for here and put the mud for the tip,and make also make the packet for here too.

We want make you show us where to buy the machines and make some of  your expects come train my people for a few months to run things..we be fast pass..You for try help us to show say true true you are a developing partner. By the way i hear say you dey fit take palm kennel make break pads? We get plenty Abe for here..you we go talk  more..Oh! Before i go , the land way i give you for Tarkwa and Akyem, I hear say you dey mine Gold well well well, ber that contract self we for renew am soon?

one hand dey wash another oh! Enjoy your mission in Ghana.

Your Hosts



Ntzu’s Epistle

18th May 2008

This is Ntzu’s legendary Epistle, originally published and distributed in Accra in late 2006.

Say ,batubatunga to mama to papa kayathe mame Zorro ah oh James brownkaka tsopha shukushamenwelcome to the GoldCoast bulletinmay i proudly present an AD please,The Ghana Walking Barbers Kpeay Have donated 10million Ghanaian Cedis To be held in trust for the 3 universityStudents from kumasi who have shown themPrototypes of the rechargerble Clipper,This new product they say is revolutionary andWill boost business,The cash ,cheaque was presented to Ntzu kpoAt the GoldCoast bulletin office ShogologobankosheeThe tree,opposite Awudome Cemetary today,Oh by the way the invention is open to the general publicAnd for details contact Ntzu at ntzu.com, IT will be easy to sit back and say good will win overEvil eventually,but then I also know these is a human thing and we have a duty to the disabled,elderly ,our children to protect and provide for them as best we can.May the Almighty God be our guard in this holy warOf good OverEvilGhana is about to extend her rail net work to reach all corners of the country which in reality is almost starting from scratch,Good you will think,but Ghanas selfish politicians,who are rumoured to have earned,paid into a swiss account,in bribe,over a million Dollars each,have made a deal that leaves the European very rich and the Ghanaian poorer stillWhen it is a chance for Ghanaians to OWN their OWN railways,The president and parliament gives that African development right away for selfish Gain?When over a hundred years ago the british decided to build a railnetworkWestminster parliament made sure the profit stayed in british pockets and also that when the rails where finish they were not half owned by the Freanch norQuaterly controlled by the Germans,so on they went and gave permissionFor shares to be sold to the british public who bought it in bucketfuls,And whenever they run out of money they the developers went to parliament for cash and ways and means,a committee I guess will be set up in such a time to see to national interest,And today,with Germany,Japan,Malayasia Britain and France to copy from,And the availability of top world class railnetwork builders and top personel developers around at the click on the net,It is a Golden opportunity for Ghana to build a first world class railnetwork to rival that of Britain,France and TokyosIn todays satellite TV linked world,what Gold mining,rich country full ofWise people will make somebody else build and run their money making rail business for over 20 years?You can do this tooWe are all searching for the truth,I asked 11 foriegners from various embassies if ,like the British did over a hundred years ago,we should raise the money internally making sure the venture is Ghanaian financed and profiting to the Ghanain, the answer was yes from all of them,and when asked if they think Ghana can afford it,they all,from the American to the Indian said yes Ghana can afford it with no external loans nor aid from the west,,.But lets assume Omapanin President Kuffour does not know akunta[account] inside and thinks His Government,which is richer than the british government cant afford it….er!! then we should reconsider his position,,Are our leaders really people that have promised on their honourTo be faithful and loyal to Ghana our Motherland?If so why are they making a deal as if the European mafia is holding a gun to their heads? For Ghanaians and over 80% of the population not informed.Is the president and parliament all brainwashed,plain stupid or just selfish,and is Ghana awake or sleeping and is any African thinking of African affairs these days? Oh sure the Bible and the Holy Koran tells me to speak good of my leaders and if I listern to Lao Tzu and follow the Dao,leave politics well aloneAnd no one ever said turn the blind eye to evil doings of the leadersDid Ghandhi wrong when he said the truth or Jesus disorderly when he spake against the elders of the church? Of their wrong doings.?What will Nkrumah have done even in colo days? Same if he was here today,he will,like every good African think…We should link our rail lines to Pan African needs [links] and as you can travel from London to Paris non stop through the euro tunnel under the sea,so should Wa not be our last stop up north but a link to Abidjan through to Mali and beyond as part of our African development plan. So will my father Nkrumah think. I say even if we don’t unite but link our roads and rail lines ,we will boost our economy and it will be a drive towards economical independence from the west,these point was echoed to the president,Kuffour on his visit earlier this mounth to the New Partnership for Africas Development[NEPAD] in south Africa,in his address,Professor Mucavele said the surest way of fighting poverty in Africa is through INTRACONTINENTAL TRADE,saying it was the ONLY simulative investment which could Take Africa out of its current poverty situation. And it is interesting to know that the president responding to his role as the current head of the African Union called on NEPAD to come up with Africas priority needs to be submitted to the next G-8 summit,then he knows that the G-8 is the cause of Africans poverty,with world trade laws stuck in their favour and totally exploitational of the black continent and also that we don’t need to play along,and that he knows of white kids dying protesting against the G-8s threatment of Africa,and of the fair trade movement in the west,I will write more about the G-8,protesters,fair trade and all later in this your paper,Excuse me, are Black people stupid ?If not why is the ,I quote MR KOFI ANNAN, ON A RECENT BBC INTERVIEW, THE RICHEST CONTINENT ON EARTH STILL THE LEAST DEVELOPED IN 40 YEARS,WHY? Is it because since the overthrow of Nkrumah African leaders have been making wrong choices for Africa?Africans not knowing the political powers of the people who are the true government and can demand change non violently?Or Becouse despite all our eye openness the British still mine our gold?Can you see the similarity in mine and our as in my[mine]gold?So when someone mines your gold they own it..But fellow GHANAIAN think, do you think if the British have goldAnd Ghana the machinery and expertise they will make us mine their gold? Or buy our men to teach them how to mine gold and pay them off once they have been trained?You know the true answer because your heart will tell you,And knowing the white man will sell his mama for gold why cant we just do the same and learn how to run the machinery and men from him and pay him off?why are we in a YOU-MINE-WE-SHARE THE GOLD-DEAL with a british,anglo south African company? I haven’t heard more foolishness in my 4 and a half decades.I thought it was writing that you cant fool all the people all the time so why are we willingly giving the white race the power to exploit us?MY friend King Solomon,who was connected to Africa through Abyssinia,todays Ethiopia,saw and warn fellow Africans in a proverb;I HAVE SEEN AN EVIL UPON THE EARTH WHERE PRINCES ARE WALKING AND SERVANTS RIDING ON HORSES:Why are we the black race being the willing Princes and the weaker poor European playing the stealing,thieving servants on horses? You see we sin both ways as it is a sin to love some one more than yourself as the law is ,love thy neaghbour as thyself,and the second sin is forcing the caucausian into the role of the thieves,for the sooner we make them know enough is enough they will face reality and realize they cant grow enough food in that God forsaken weather to sustain them without the exploiting of Africans,deal with us fairly and maybe even get a job in sunny Africa 8mounths and go holiday in Babylon in the summer ,Becos it doesn’t matter that 12,000 of your children die in Africa a day,as long as you keep that vain open the white man will suck,fuck,I Ntzu will suck if I was giving that land as my lot and I look around and see everything die in the winter knowing like the bear to gather and ,,capitalism,Africans not caring for their goldOh sure I will exploit,as we all have a right to survive,I wonder why I am the unwilling member of a nation that is only independent on paper and in reality is remotedly controlled by the british through our gold,the Freanch thru CFAO the Italians through Fiat and Wall Tiles that I can dig clay and make myself.the portoguese thru PZ and the Swiss through Nestle ,who sell us milk that even the whites don’t use,they all use fresh pasturised milk,cow milk way they heat am to kill the germs.e be him they day use for tea,most coffes and all their cornflakes and breakfast stuff,yet Nestle doesn’t do cattle farming in Africa to destribute to our doors freash milk to help our children develop strong teeths and bones,instead they lie to our Mothers to feed us the poison for babies milk powder instead of the billion years tested and scientifically proven best for babies mothers milkIn Europe a lot of people boycott nestle products because of the way the company threat Africans and hear we love them blindly,Well back to the rail deal,Can we reverse it?To benefit the Ghanaian and Africa?YES YES YESNow if I was the President.wait I am a herbalist and a musician,but, sure,if I was the president,in the interest of Ghanaians,I will sturdy the best railnetworks around the world,then buy with our Gold the machinery,plant and the best experts to come in ,build with 3or more of our men with every expert, learning everything by watching and practice and ask for all technical details to be made available and explained and thought our people and selecting a workforce that will stay on as maintenance men and technicians for the railways and most of the workforce selected from the vast number of unemployed Ghanaians that have been through the technical,engineering and electrical institutions,and with the average Ghanaian knowing a bit of everything,we wont be short of a workforce to run and operate an electrified,computarised railnetwork,It is time we start making choices to help Ghana and build an economy that will keep our young employed and living in sweet sweet Africa instead of develop foreign economies that send our children risking their lives to cross the Sahara and the seas to reach African-blood fed Europe and those who make it become willing slaves to the Babylonian systerm.I say all Ghanaians can enjoy the benefits of a british citizen,good infrastrature,free health care,housing benefit,rent money if you don’t work,social security benefit,free weekly or fortnightly allowance,around 40pounds sterlin per week and up to 120 a week in some cases,free education up to university level,free transport for children,elderly and disabled and pensioners and all the stadiums and cities you see by satellite TV can yours and your politicians will campaign by saying in their time the emergency respond time is under 5 minutes,like wherever you are in Ghana if you call the ambulance or fire services it will get to you in less than 5mins,and all ambulances have all the equipment including heart starting machines for starting the hearts of folks who suffer heart attacks due to the over abundance of comfort,and if they cant reach you by car then,how about airlifting by helipcopter? Or go diving and have an accident and the coast guards and police diving unit will fish you out,,,oh!Babylon,London as any Ghanaian there will tell you,sweet.and all can be ours becos they leave off our money[www.chritainaid.com/stop sponging off Africans]I want a future where my children can work in Ghana or Africa,save for a mortgage,be able to buy a car even if they where unemployed,it happens in Europe,And go on tour to see snow fall in Europe,if the white kids can come tour Africa and the world with our money,why cant we and why don’t wePlease copy and send ,after collecting signatures to The President Of GhanaFreepostThe CastleOsu,AccraGhanaWest AfricaDear Mr kuffour,We the undersigned Ghanaians will like to see a reversalOf the new railway bill,to be financed by Ghanaians to benefit Ghana,Or Sir hold a referendum.Name; Address town/city Well I will sign off and write more tomorrowBy the way,I wrote a similar report for six hours today and lost all during a sudden lights off,power cut in kotobabi in Accra where I am writing from,, Please Nix make a few copies and pass it on to the Ghanaians in EdinburghAnd beg they make copies for other Ghanaians in the west please,,,,By the way we wont mind donations to make us spread more copies in Ghana and Africa.

The Gold Coast Bulletin is holding a special African day at the Forest café in Edinburgh to help the paper raise money to start paper publishing in Accra and to Fix the tree,which is our office,picture posted tommorow.

UPDATE: Picture below

Gold Coast Bulletin Office